It seems that Jesus had this idea that as we experienced the love of God, His love, it should change the way we love others. He even says it directly in John.1
At another point a teacher of the law asks Jesus what the greatest commandment is. Jesus replies that it is to “Love the Lord your God with all your heart with all your soul and with all your mind.” He then says that the second commandment is to “Love your neighbor as yourself2.” It's interesting that He slides that “as yourself” part in at the end. It almost sounds as if it's a prerequisite for loving others.
Some say that simply means, to value others as highly or higher than yourself. While that is a good principle, there's probably more depth there. Maybe to truly love others we must first love ourselves. This is not to advocate narcissism but to say that until we love ourselves, there will always be fear in our relationships, fear of rejection, fear of being hurt.
As we love God, as we experience His love, we will begin to see ourselves the way He sees us and find that that is where our worth is, not in our relationships with others. You matter because the God of the universe, who could have had anything He wanted, chose you, and He loves you. He will never leave you.3 He will heal you. This is what motivates and allows us to love others, first being loved by God.4 Maybe, this is how we begin to change the way we love others.
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